Ugh, the dishwasher broke

Yep, that's right. 

My dishwasher has seen it's last wash...boo :( . 

It's been on the blink for a while now, but we've been able to limp it along load by load waiting for that dreadful day when it could be helped no longer.  Alas, that day has come. 

Kraig is a very handy guy-I swear, he can fix anything-and when it broke a few years ago, he was able to repair it, but, this time, he attempted and it just could not be fixed.  (And wouldn't you know, it died with a full load of dirty dishes in it plus a sink full too!)  SO I have resorted to hand washing all our dishes...UGH...washing dishes is one of my least favorite things EVER.  And let me just tell you, when four people pretty much eat three meals a day at home pretty much every day, that adds up to A LOT of dishes!

So, as I've been spending so much time the last few days standing at my kitchen sink with my hands deep in warm soapy water staring out the window into my backyard, I've had a lot of time to think. 

And I've been thinking about the last 4 1/2 years of my life as a stay home mom.

(Granted, every week I do work one full day at the bank and I have since Taylor was born, but I still consider myself a stay home mom since the rest of the six days a week I'm with my kiddos.)

My life changed so drastically when Taylor was born.  I went from being a full time working woman who spent 40+ hours a week at the bank then came home to my hubby who had been working all day at his job.  I'd cook supper then clean up then do some laundry or some other cleaning chore around the house.  Then I'd veg on the couch watching TV.  Weekends were spent being L-A-Z-Y...sleeping in til 10am on Saturdays and doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.  Ah, I thought I was so busy and so tired back then...LOL...seriously?  HA!

Oh yes, my life changed drastically.  Suddenly, instead of getting up every morning and being away from home all day every day at my job, my "job" was at home and I wasn't sure how to handle it all.  I waited so long to get to be a stay home mom (7 years!) that I wanted to do it just perfectly.  I thought because I was home all the time now, my house should be perfectly kept...laundry always done, kitchen sink always empty, floors always clean.  I also thought I should have the perfect schedule for my new tiny daughter...plenty of time for her naps, plenty of time for her individual play, plenty of time for play with mommy.  I read books and articles and talked to lots of other moms who were doing this stay home mommy thing to see how I could do it better.  Sometimes I would drive myself crazy just wanting to get it right!

But, what is right??  And who decides???

Well, it took me a couple years, but I finally figured out that I have to decide what's right for me.  I'm not in any sort of stay home mom competition or race.  What works best for me and my family is what we will do.  So, who cares if someone pops in and there are dirty dishes in my sink or the bathroom floor hasn't been mopped or there is laundry on my couch?  I didn't quit my full time job to be a stay home maid, I did it to be a stay home mom. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to encourage anyone to just be lazy and hang out on the couch all day while household chores pile up around you.  There is a responsibility to tend to our families by keeping our homes clean and presentable among other things.  But, it's not my main focus.  My main focus is soaking up these precious baby years of my 4 1/2 year old and my almost 9 month old because it doesn't seem like a little less than four years ago that my 4 1/2 year old was my 9 month old! 

My, how the time does fly.