It's a learning process for us all...

Since Taylor accepted Jesus as her Savior this past Wednesday morning, Kraig and I have been encouraging her to tell people.  What makes Jesus real in our lives is when we keep Him at the forefront of our thoughts, when we weave Him into everything we do and say.  Our sweet Taylor is often timid by nature (about certain things and in certain situations), which is something we've struggled with at times because she can come across as rude when people talk to her and she just totally ignores them.  We feel that it's fine to feel timid or shy, but it's no excuse to not speak when spoken to.  So, telling people that she asked Jesus to live in her heart has fallen into this "things I'm timid about" category for her. 

By about the tenth time on Wednesday that someone said "Taylor, did something special happen to you today?" or that I said "Taylor, why don't you tell so-and-so what you did today?" she finally looked up at me with those enormous, gorgeous brown eyes that were now filled to the brim with tears and in an even more tearful voice said "Can you please tell them?"  We later talked about how it's fine to feel shy about the attention, but it's good to tell her good news because people would be excited for her for the choice that she made and so other Christians could pray for her.  It's also good to let people know because not everyone has made this decision, but maybe would want to because she told them about her decision. 

Well, the very next morning, she turned her witness on!...to her baby brother :0)  As the two of them sat in the back of the car on the way to take Taylor to preschool, I heard her say "Rylan, you need to ask God to live in your heart so you don't have to live in the fire with the devil."  Rylan was less than impressed and not the slightest bit intimidated by this bold proclamation from his sister.

He's such a stinker...

But back to Taylor...

Kraig and I decided that yesterday morning at church, we should take Taylor forward so we could let the church know of her awesome decision for Christ.  So, we explained to her what we would do and she kinda got teary-eyed and said she didn't want to, but we assured her it would be fine.  WELL, as soon as Pastor knelt in front of her and asked her what great thing happened to her this week, she completely and totally lost it.  I felt so awful.  She buried her head into me and sobbed and continued to sob for probably the next ten minutes.  It was terrible.  So, I felt like a big loser mommy and Kraig felt like a big loser daddy for even suggesting it in the first place... *sigh*

Kraig's mom made me feel better about the whole thing by saying that going forward in church ~ and things along those lines ~ will have an impact on her and help her grow even though she reacted that way.  Sometimes in our Christian walk, we have to do things (or we SHOULD do things is the better way to say it) that are uncomfortable and, I guess, it's never too early to learn that.  But, I'm thinking maybe we should back off a little.  I think we probably forced her into doing something she just wasn't ready to do.  I want to encourage her with everything I have in her Christian journey, but I certainly don't want to hinder her growth or her excitement by making her do things she's not ready to do.

Kraig and I talked about it more last night and I asked him if we would've explained to Taylor that people go before the church to let others know about their salvation and she could just let us know when she was ready to do it, would she have ever come back to us saying she was ready to go forward?  He really doesn't think she would've.  She's always been shy and timid about telling people things, for some reason.  Just her nature, we suppose.  She, like any kid, likes attention, but only certain kinds of attention and from certain people.

So, what I'm learning through Taylor's salvation is that this is truly HER relationship with God.  I can encourage her and tell her what God wants from us, but she truly has to make the decisions about following Him.  Just like when she chose on her own to get saved, I can't force her into choosing to live for Him.  Only she can make that choice.  It's hard for this helicopter mama to let go of the controls!  But God is already teaching me and I'm praying for His wisdom and discernment. 

The children's leader at church gave Taylor and me a book yesterday that we can go through together that will explain things to her about being a Christian.  It's through LifeWay and it's called "I'm A Christian Now" for younger kids.  From what I've viewed of it already, it looks like it will be a great help and raise all sorts of great topics like reviewing sin and her choice of salvation and what all that means plus our call to baptism and witnessing and Scripture memory and Bible reading, etc.  

I'm so excited to go through this incredible journey with my sweet girl!!!